My Parents Were Awesome

Have you seen the blog My Parents Were Awesome? I love it. It shares outrageously vintage photos of parents back when they were cool. So this weekend I found some old photos of my parents and in the spirit of MPWA I’m going share them.

My Dad runs the London Marathon back in the 80s.

My Mum (in the white blazer) and some friends. I think I know where my love of blazers came from.

Dad with the horrendous moustache and Fosters can and Mum, popped collar.

Mum feeds some livestock.

Were your parents awesome?

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Top 5 things I refuse to spend money on

I ‘m definitely not a stingy person, I spend far too much money on obvious things such as clothes, jewellery and travel to qualify as a tight-wad. But the idea of paying top dollar for certain things brings out the Ebeneezer Scrooge in me, and here are five of them:

1. Pyjamas
I fail to see the point of splashing out on clothes reserved for the inside of your bedroom. I currently sleep in a $7 cotton nightie I got at Kmart. Some of my Peter Alexander loving friends argue that ugly pajamas aren’t conducive to certain night time bedroom activities. I argue that no clothes are conducive to those kinds of night time bedroom activities. I have another friend who regularly sleeps in a hideous faded grey Melbourne Demons ‘Runners Up’ t shirt from 2000 AFL Grand Final and I love her for it.

2. Cleanser
Cleanser is glorified soap for your face that inevitably gets washed down the drain (with your money). I use a big tub of chemist brand aquaeous cream to wash my face and see no difference between when I use that and when I use little sachets of Dermalogica they hand out for free at department stores.

3. Lunch
I haaaaaate buying lunch on work days. It’s always overpriced and crap, so I always opt bring from home. On days when I forget my lunch I try to avoid buying at all costs so generally exist on the communal office milo or make the staff morning tea cupcakes from Coles last all day. Slightly extreme yes. Evidently I also hate the idea of buying expensive plastic containers (Tupperware I’m looking at you) so I use ex-take away containers that often leak salad juice into my handbag. A small price to pay.

4. Mascara
This falls into the same category as cleanser. Paying $30 more for Estee Lauder mascara isn’t going to make any difference to my eye lashes. Contrary to the ads there really is no such thing as ‘lash defining technology’ or a wand that ‘wraps each lash to make them appear 3000% longer’. In my teens I did a tiny bit of modelling (before I was washed-up, age 17) and every makeup artist I came across used and swore by the same Maybelline Great Lash mascara. So I use that.

5. Petrol
Petrol is one of the most boring things to spend money on along with parking and going to the doctor But I also loathe public transport. So to get around this I moved to a regional centre in Western Australia called Kalgoorlie where I drive no further than 5km per day and hence only fill up with petrol about once a month*. Worth it.

What do you hate spending money on?

(* I actually moved here for a job. I would not recommend moving here for the petrol savings alone)

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Welcome to Travel Tuesdays: Venice

Welcome to the first edition of Travel Tuesdays!
First up, Venice:

People will tell you it’s overrated. Crowded in summer. Miserable in winter. But I honestly don’t think i’ve ever been anywhere are magical as Venice. With every corner turned a new postcard-perfect view uncovered before my eyes. I stayed off the main island of Venice on the island of Giudecca, immediately to the south, at a hostel called Ostello di Venezia. Giudecca is quaint and adorable and provides a nice refuge from the tourist infested Venice mainland (although to be honest that didn’t bother me much). I spent a day on Lido Island (it’s actually just a sand bar, where the Venice Film Festival takes place) on the beach with cheese, wine and a hostel friend. I highly recommend the Peggy Guggenheim Collection.

Verdict: everyone needs to see Venice before they die.

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The pharmacy trap

Has anyone ever walked out of a pharmacy with only the item they intended to purchase when they walked in? I doubt it.
The other day I went to have a script filled and was browsing the aisles while they did their thing (seriously, how long does it take to get a box of medicine off a shelf and hand it to a customer in a little basket?! I swear they take ages on purpose to boost sales).
Anyway, I was repeating my mantra ‘I will not buy anything, I will not buy anything…’ when I stumbled across the Shiseido range, which this particular pharmacy has decided to no longer stock and thus are having a fire sale. Everything was $5.
This is what I came home with:
2 x lipsticks
3 x eyeshadows
1 x foundation
1 x concealer
1 x illumiating stick
Over $200 worth of cosmetics for $40.

I love pharmacies: putting the ‘gain’ in ‘bargain’.

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My Top 5 Break-Up Songs

Ahh the break-up song, listened to on repeat for hours… The following 5 aren’t necessarily the best break-up songs, but they all resonate strongly with me and a certain relationship. I prefer an empowering break-up song, one that makes me so mad with rage I can feel adrenaline pumping through my veins, rather than a sad one. Enjoy!

5. Gotye feat. Kimbra – Somebody that I used to know

This isn’t so much a ‘screw you for dumping me’ song as a ‘screw you for being an a@$%hole after we broke up’ song. Just because you broke up doesn’t mean you can delete the three years and a half years you spent growing up together ahem.
But you didn’t have to cut me off/Make out like it never happened and that we were nothing/And I don’t even need your love/But you treat me like a stranger and that feels so rough
Females need the ceremonial exchanging of each other’s goods as part of the grieving process (and to find out if you’re seeing someone else), so don’t palm me off to your friend!! OK?!

4. Lady Antebellum – Need You Now

Ok I lied, this is the one sad break-up song on the list. It just describes so perfectly that feeling of being a bit drunk, thinking of that someone and reaching for your phone while every non-drunk cell in your body is screaming ‘DON’T DO IT!!!’. It’s the perfect song for when you’re past the initial i-hate-you-i-miss-you-take-me-back merry-go-round and you’re just a bit sad about how things turned out and thinking of them and whether or not they think of you.
It’s a quarter after one, I’m a little drunk and I need you now/Said I wouldn’t call but I lost all control and I need you now

3. Rihanna – Rehab

This is for the relationship you keep going back to despite your better judgement and friends telling you not to. It is really like fighting an addiction. And then a year later you have no idea why you had so much trouble letting go. Oh hindsight, where art thou when needed?

2. Beyonce – The Best Thing I Never Had

I’m not really a Beyonce fan but. I. LOVE. THIS. SONG. It makes me feel much better about this f*$%wit I dated for 3 months who was never really mine (definitely still in love with his ugly ex girlfriend) and THANK GOD because he was a *^#(&#)#&(&^$^%&%$())!!!!!! Very much the best thing I never had.
Thank God you blew it/Thank God I dodged a bullet/I’m so over you/So baby good looking out/I wanted you bad/I’m so through with that/Cos honestly you turned out to be the best thing I never had
The video is equally awesome, Beyonce strutting around all smug in her bridal lingerie, about to marry some awesome hot music video actor. SO THERE. As Beyonce put’s it ever-so elegantly It sucks to be you right now. I would get married just to sing this to a particular ex, looking amazing on the day of my wedding. Vengeful much?! HA.

1. Cee Lo Green – F*ck You

When all else fails, swearing helps. I have many a fond memory of dancing around my apartment with my friend Claire to this very song, screaming the lyrics with a certain someone in mind and GOD IT FELT GOOD.
Although there’s pain in my chest I still wish you the best with a ‘F*CK YOU’/
I pity the fool, that falls in love with you

So that’s it! In case you were wondering I am currently in a very happy relationship, but still enjoy listening to these and reflecting.

What are you favourite break-up songs?

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Top 3 Reasons Why People Love Lists

Part of my job involves writing 3 ‘Top 5’ lists every Tuesday for our free weekly publication. This usually involves me scrounging around trying to find tips on beating hay fever, avoiding cancer or finding the best life insurance policy all while getting increasingly bored and creative with what I write (today I managed to squeeze a Jane Austen quote* into a top 5 about getting ready for summer).

Anyway, while the top 5’s are a pain to write I can’t help but admit I love reading lists myself. Who doesn’t love a list?! We all do. Accept it.

So I am presenting you with my top 3 on why people love lists:

1. Pretending to be organised there is nothing more satisfying than listing and categorizing things. Humans love it. Writing a to do list is way more fun than actually doing whatever it is you have to do. I would say writing a list and reading lists would be number 1 on the ‘Top 10 ways to procrastinate’ list.

2 Lists are easy to skim they often have a bold section at the start of the sentence mitigating any need to read the paragraph underneath them. So they require little dedication from the reader. You may notice that’s exactly what I’ve done here. Please read it all though.

3 Lists are black and white literally (unless you use a blue pen) and figuratively. They either affirm what the reader thinks should be on the list or enrage the reader with their inaccuracy, sparking a fun debate between believers-of and haters-of the list.

There you have it, my list about lists. Expect to see a lot more lists around here. I’m list crazy.

(* ‘It is a truth universally acknowledged that people in bathers look better with a tan’. Yes. I went there)

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I’ve been bad…

So we all know we’re not technically meant to stream movies and television shows online. But honestly, we all do it and I can’t wait another year for an Australian network to pick this one up… Revenge. My friend Rania introduced me to Revenge and only 4 episodes in I am 100% addicted. An adaptation of The Count of Monte Cristo, Revenge is like a dark well-acted Gossip Girl (Eric van der Woodsen even has a role, literally).

It follows the story of Emily Thorn (aka Amanda) returning to the Hamptons to follow a trail map of revenge against those who framed her father and destroyed her family. Each episode is formulaic, with Thorn crossing-off one wealthy wrong-doer at the end of each episode, each week getting closer to her big fish Victoria Greyson. She pulls off her pursuits in a spectacularly devastating manner- the married politician’s pregnant mistress suddenly showing up at a campaign dinner, the therapist’s confidential sessions with clients aired at a mother-daughter benefit. It is delicious watching it all unfold.

So I don’t condone illegal activity but um, you’re going to want to get in on this one early.

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Fun photo editing apps for Macbooks

Image Tricks Lite

Collage Maker

So I have pretty limited experience with Illustrator and Photoshop. And while I am working full-time and studying full-time I have neither the time nor inclination to self-teach myself these programs. In the meantime I’ve found some easy and fun apps for Macbook to jazz up my photos.

The first one is Image Tricks Lite which lets you do fun things with the colour and shape, my favourite function is kaleidoscope (as you can see above). There’s not a heck load of functions but seeing as it’s a free app, it’s good value.

The second one is Collage Maker which set me back $5.49 and is my new obsession. Fairly self explanatory, it allows you to create heaps of different kinds of collages. Fun and many lost hours ensue.

The third one I tried out was Skitch which I see absolutely no use for if your laptop has a screen shot function. Waste of time. Also free.

Hopefully these will tide me over until I sit down and learn the real photo editing programs (what’s a vector?!) xx

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Vintage Stores & Markets: My Top 10 World Wide Picks

In no particular order:

Stella Dallas, 218 Thompson Street (near Bleecker), NYC


2 Malin Landaeus, 155 N 6th St Brooklyn, NY

3 Stella Dallas Living, 281 N 6th St Brooklyn, NY




4 10ft Single by Stella Dallas, 285 N 6th St, Brooklyn, NY


Spitalfields Market, London




Camden Stables Market, London

7 Plac Nowy Market, Jewish Quarter, Krakow


Waterlooplein Market, Amsterdam


9 Floh Markt, Vienna

10 Camberwell Market, Melbourne
I lived in Melbourne for 23 years and never took a photo. Such is life.

I love nothing more than fossicking through vintage and second hand markets while travelling. Whether you made a special trip there (like all the ones in NYC) or just stumbled across it in your explorations (like the on in Krakow) there is so much treasure- and a whole lot of crap, to behold.

Any to add to the list?

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Religious

On my day off last Wednesday I was trying to leave home in a hurry to get to an appointment when I walked straight into a Jehovah’s Witness about to knock on my door. Ugh.

The man said “I realise you’re in a hurry, so I just wanted to leave you this magazine…” as he handed me the above (ahem) ‘magazine’. Magazines that i’m accustomed to usually have the word ‘exposed’ next to the phrase ‘celebrities without make up’ or ‘celebs with cellulite’ not ‘Five lies about God’. And on the front cover is a photo of said disgraced celeb trying to avoid the ‘razzi storm. Not a seriously creepy illustration of a perplexed man holding a bible.

Inside the magazine are charming little stories about Lisa or Sarah who used to have a lip ring and be bad-ass but who now wears a twin set and pearls and feels her life has purpose. There’s also a confusing article preaching the importance of staying awake whilst studying the bible or you will fall out of a window and die.

I don’t mind a bit of propaganda. What I do mind is poorly executed propaganda. I realise publications like these need to cater to the lowest denominator but really, at the end of The Watchtower I felt no urge to honour Jehovah God, the Supreme Ruler of the universe. I haven’t felt such a sense of literary failure since reading the Dukan Diet and not feeling the urge to denounce carbs for the rest of my life.

So it seems Jehovah’s Witnesses are no FLDS or Landmark Education. Disappointing.

Your thoughts on organised religion?

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