On my day off last Wednesday I was trying to leave home in a hurry to get to an appointment when I walked straight into a Jehovah’s Witness about to knock on my door. Ugh.
The man said “I realise you’re in a hurry, so I just wanted to leave you this magazine…” as he handed me the above (ahem) ‘magazine’. Magazines that i’m accustomed to usually have the word ‘exposed’ next to the phrase ‘celebrities without make up’ or ‘celebs with cellulite’ not ‘Five lies about God’. And on the front cover is a photo of said disgraced celeb trying to avoid the ‘razzi storm. Not a seriously creepy illustration of a perplexed man holding a bible.
Inside the magazine are charming little stories about Lisa or Sarah who used to have a lip ring and be bad-ass but who now wears a twin set and pearls and feels her life has purpose. There’s also a confusing article preaching the importance of staying awake whilst studying the bible or you will fall out of a window and die.
I don’t mind a bit of propaganda. What I do mind is poorly executed propaganda. I realise publications like these need to cater to the lowest denominator but really, at the end of The Watchtower I felt no urge to honour Jehovah God, the Supreme Ruler of the universe. I haven’t felt such a sense of literary failure since reading the Dukan Diet and not feeling the urge to denounce carbs for the rest of my life.
Your thoughts on organised religion?