Turkish kitchen implements, crazy-delicious salads, Guatemalan masks, the impossible-to-capture-in-focus loveable hound named Oscar, owls, suspiciously green tomatoes, a leftover relic from election night, blue skies and my sister channelling a creepy over-zealous Stepford Wife.
All in all I would say their house has been sufficiently warmed.
A far more season-friendly outfit post today.
I bought this coat from Savers for $16.95 two weeks ago, a welcome addition to my wardrobe just before winter. It’s a wool/cashmere blend and ridiculously warm. Off to the football tonight, go Blues!
Coat: Savers
Jeans: Cheap Monday
Sweater: Mink Pink
Scarf: Vinnies
Boots: Sportsgirl (on sale at the moment)
Necklace: House of Harlow @ www.miijo.com
Tiger Bangles: Kenneth Jay Lane @ www.net-a-porter.com
Yesterday I bought this clock from Vinnies (an Op Shop, Thrift/Second Hand store) for $5. Isn’t it adorable?!
As a child I envisaged having a red one of these which would wake me every morning with its obnoxious ring and I would slam my hand down on top of it to shut it up, just like in the movies.
I’m not exactly living the dream as this clock only works sporadically (it’s been stuck on 5:30 for a while now), but from the loudness of the tick I can imagine waking-up to the alarm would be a rather frightening experience.
Unfortunately the sporadic ticking is enough to remind me that I now have less than 1 week to submit 2,500 words on media coverage of the Israel/Palestine conflict so it is with the willpower I should have mustered up weeks ago that I log out of facebook, Twitter, Bloglovin’ and WordPress.
Wish me luck!
Wait a sec, apparently I don’t need to do my essay because the world is ending tomorrow, phew!
So I had a problem trying to pick the perfect cliche post name for this post because I couldn’t figure out whether this dress is purple or blue?!
Anyway, lately i’ve found myself strangely attracted to blue dresses and shirts when usually blue is a colour I reserve only for jeans. Excitedly, I thought I had somehow fallen prey to a kind of ‘bowerbird syndrome’, a condition discovered by Prof. R K Brewin whereby humans start to hoard items of blue apparel. But if this dress is purple then there goes that theory. Either way, these colours are giving me strong cravings for one of these:
How very odd.
Dress: Savers
Shoes: Wittner
Clutch: Oroton
Watch: Swatch Watch
Bracelet: Bettina Liano
Dog: Passion for Pets
Before; attempting to photograph myself using my (to be fair, rather lengthy) arm
After;
BANG! Testing out my new DSLR camera remote controller in Ted’s Camera Shop.
Potentially the most vain purchase in my entire 22 years. I gave the Ted’s Camera Shop guy some spiel about wanting to “take long exposure night photos and using the remote control will help avoid camera-shake” because it sounded better than “I plan to use this to take photos of myself in pretty clothes”. White lie.
Stay tuned for outfit posts!
When I first saw this advertisement in Cleo magazine I immediately scanned the ground for the 3D glasses I assumed had tumbled out which would enable me to see said ‘slight’, ‘demi’ and ‘bold’ curves. But alas, my naked eye was meant to detect curves without the assistance of stereoscopy.
Seriously? That’s a ‘bold’ curve?! My issue here is not with the use (or non-use) of plus sized models. My issue is with lies. Straight out lies. Advertising has lied to women in particular since its inception. Mascara advertisement lies are my favourite: ‘instantly build 8x more volume without clumping!’ and ‘helps to lift and separate lashes to provide the look of 300% more lashes’ says Maybelline. 300%?! Who came up with that?!
To the Don Drapers of the world: please stop insulting my intelligence. I know that ‘active enzymes’ can’t ‘seek out stains in the wash’ and that there is no such thing as ‘lipgloss with 5x more shine than patent leather’. I’ll cut you a deal Don, you stop pretending I can’t sort fact from fiction and I’ll pretend your name isn’t actually Dick. Ok?
When you were young, did anyone (probably a Great Aunt or childless friend of your mothers’) ever give you a book of paper dolls that were pretty to look at but fell to pieces if you tried to do anything with them? These are kind of a grown-up version.
Paper Dolls is a free exhibition of paper shift dresses at Chadstone Shopping Centre in Melbourne. Most of the dresses date from the 1960’s and designs range from promotional- the Campbell’s Soup dress (1968) was an advertising gimmick, to political- the Nixon presidential campaign dress (1967), to postage- the Airmail Dress (1999) can be written on and folded into an envelope.
Again, fun to look at but you probably don’t want to try this at home. Paper isn’t known for its warmth, comfort, strength or water-proof qualities. Gives a whole new meaning to the idea of ‘disposable fashion’ though.
The Paper Dresses Fashion Exhibition continues in the Chadstone Luxury Precinct until Sunday June 5.
Every Sunday, I await with glee the arrival of The Sunday Age newspaper for one reason only: Sunday Life magazine. This is a ritual of visual and voyeuristic fantasy and pleasure: features on people whose fabulous lives I will never myself lead, recipes I will never have the patience to find the ingredients for, clothes I will never be able to afford and home wares I will never be ‘edgy’ (or rich) enough for. There are also some clever and witty columns I actually do enjoy (Mia Freedman, Sarah Wilson).
One of my favourite sections is without a doubt: My day on a plate. This is where c-list ‘celebrities’ (often news readers with crazy schedules) lie about all the fabulous things they eat on an average day and a nutritionist makes thoughtfully dull comments like ‘I’d like to see some more protein, perhaps introduce some organic silken tofu?’. I particularly love when contributors boast about the on-trend foods they consume like acai and goji berries, quinoa and fruits like figs (see above) that are so beyond us normal people.
So I thought I would write ‘My [realistic] day on a plate’ to counteract Deborah Knight’s ‘nutritional winner’ of a diet with my real, non-sugar coated (except for the hot jam donut) and much less healthy diet from yesterday.
9:00am piece of toast with avocado smeared on top & a cup of tea (here, the nutritionist would applaud my use of a ‘healthy fat’, but don’t worry there are plenty of unhealthy fats to come!)
10:00am at the Camberwell Market I fall mercy to the van that sells hot jam donuts and enjoy one delicious ball of highly processed, starchy white dough, deep fried and filled with bright red jam, then covered in sugar. A nutritionist’s delight.
2:00pm returning home after shopping I’m ravenous and reach for the 3 mouthfuls of thai curry and rice I saved from the takeaway the night before (no matter how little left, I can never bring myself to throw-out takeaway leftovers). Left totally unsatisfied I have 2 pieces of toast with pesto, philadelphia cream cheese and sliced tomatoes.
5:30pm woken by the jam donut earlier my sweet tooth is calling out again and I reach into the freezer and have a mug of coffee grande ice cream with ice magic topping (I like to fool myself into believing a mug is a much smaller ice cream vessel than a bowl) followed by another mug of cookies and cream ice cream. Now I feel sick and don’t eat for the rest of the day/night.
This is a pretty drastic day for me in terms of eating. I do usually eat fruit. But not figs like Deborah Knight. The last time I had a fig it was caramelised atop a slice of fried cheese at Hellenic Republic. The thing that really gets me about Deborah’s diet is her dessert of ‘a small bowl of light Greek yoghurt’. It’s pretty sad when you confuse a curry condiment with dessert. Someone please hand Deborah a mug of ice cream stat.
When my Sydney friend Claire (pictured with teapot) came to visit Melbourne I knew I had to take her for a ‘Melbourne’ coffee, preferably in an obscure lane way. The best option: Manchester Press. Located at 8 Rankins Lane, this cafe is a tranquil haven boasting a delicious selection of bagels and hilariously cheeky coffee art. I greatly appreciate being able to enjoy my coffee and personal space at the same time, which is increasingly difficult in overcrowded (and dare I say, overhyped) Degraves Street and the like. A must visit.
My Bloggable Day 
Don’t Hate On Hipsters
So it seems hipster-bashing is the new black.
Need proof? Being a Dickhead’s Cool, www.latfh.com, From Cool to Tool, How much hipster can you pack in a Jazz.
I wonder if anyone quick to mock hipster ways have ever considered the struggle hipsters endure to maintain their hipness on a daily basis. If they have and continue to mock, that’s just cruel. For example, have you ever considered the time and effort required to:
– assemble the perfect facial expression combining disinterest, wry amusement and enigmatic hip allure instead of just smiling in photographs
– constantly find a new place to drink at the first sign of people with non-ironic tattoos and/or facial hair; who wear suits to work; who listen to triple J; who wear t-shirts with words on them
– use vintage polaroid cameras and source expensive out of production film instead of using a point and shoot digital camera
– wear a bowler hat/empty oversize ‘Hey Dad’ frames/anything librarians would wear circa 1994 and not laugh out loud should they catch a glimpse of themselves in a reflective surface
– maintain thighs svelte enough to fit into skinny jeans whilst pedalling around on a fixed gear bike all day
Hipsters lives are really hard. In the interests of understanding and unity, I propose that tomorrow, Monday May 23 be ‘Help out a Hipster Day’. A day where us regular, less culturally aware people recognise and address the hardships endured by hipsters and offer to assist them. Some suggestions are:
– Offer to buy a hipster a drink (don’t bother if Fat Yak or Little Creatures isn’t on tap though)
– Offer to give a hipster a lift up Sydney Road on the handlebars of your bike (a Gemini Star mountain bike you’ve had since you were 13, don’t expect them to accept your offer, it’s the thought that counts)
– Help a hipster come up with the perfect indie band name for their 5 piece synth band (I shotgun the use of Stockholm Sticky Tape), you could even help design a gig poster, anything with a big triangle will do the trick
Or you could adopt a hipster trend for the day:
I’m doing my bit.
(Images curtesy of http://www.latfh.com & Sophie Turnbull)