Bruce Bogtrotter is the poor sod who’s made to eat the entirety of a ridiculously huge chocolate cake by the evil Miss Trunchbull in Roald Dahl’s ‘Matilda’ (click here to see the stomach churning scene from the movie).
When I was a kid we had two copies of Roald Dahl’s Revolting Recipes, a book published in 1994 with a collection of recipes inspired by the outlandish (and sometimes disgusting) food in his books. Treats from Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory, Snozzcumbers from The BFG, George’s Marvellous Medicine and plenty more.
I must have flicked through the pages thousands of times, but the only recipe I made was Bruce Bogtrotter’s Chocolate Cake. It was in my early high school years, we had a book themed food party in english class one day and I remember putting a sign on the cake saying ‘Warning: VERY rich’. I was right to do so.
I decided to make the cake for Bec’s birthday because I know the gooey, fudgey cake would go down a treat. There is an entire block of chocolate in the cake AND another whole block in the icing. Prepare yourselves.
For the cake you will need:
250g Good quality plain chocolate
3/4 cup unsalted butter, softened
1 cup white sugar
4 tbsp plain flour
6 eggs, separated
Coating:
250g good quality plain chocolate
1 cup double cream
Preheat oven to 180°C (350°F). Grease and line the cake tin with greaseproof paper. Melt the chocolate in a pyrex bowl, over a saucepan of simmering water or on a low heat in a microwave.
Mix in the butter and stir until melted, then add the flour, sugar and lightly beaten egg yolks.
Whisk the egg whites until stiff and then gently fold half of the whites into the chocolate mixture, mixing thoroughly.
Then carefully fold in the remaining whites. Cook for approx. 35 minutes. There will be a thin crust on top of the cake and if tested with a skewer the inside will appear uncooked but don’t worry as this is the character of the cake and it gets firmer as it cools.
Leave to cool in the tin on a wire rack. When cool enough to handle remove from the cake tin and discard the greaseproof paper.
In a pyrex bowl over a saucepan of simmering water melt together the chocolate and cream, stirring occasionally until the chocolate is fully melted and blended with the cream. Allow to cool slightly. The cake is prone to sinking slightly in the middle so place upside down for coating. With a knife carefully spread the chocolate coating all over the cake. Allow to set in a cool place before serving.
I added some Flake chocolate to make the cake look more festive.
The birthday girl and I (excuse my gross, lank looking hair?!)
The cake is seriously rich and more like ganache texture than cake texture. It was even better at 4am the next morning (like most food!).
Now excuse me while I go re-read all of the Roald Dahl books. I think Esio Trot was my favourite. Yours?
My Bloggable Day 
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times
Years from now, I think will look back on my mid-twenties as being simultaneously the most capable and inept period of my life.
Some days I feel grown up; I’ve paid a bill on time or remembered to take out and bring in my washing on the same day. You know, just generally winning at life. Other days I’m bracing for the moment a vital amenity gets shut off because the bill has been misplaced. Or I can’t empty the kitchen bin because it was bent out of shape during an improv drumming session at the last party. Or we have to sit under blinding light in the dining room because the light fitting was smashed during a game of ‘throw the celery’.
Last Tuesday I went to work, did the food shopping, did a Spin class at the gym followed by Body Balance, came home, ate dinner, did a load of washing AND baked a cake.
All the while my bedroom looked like squatters had taken over:
It actually looked like thieves had trashed the place. My bed had come apart at the foot and required simple reassembly with glue. But rather than get onto the task promptly, I dragged my mattress to the floor and dabbled with ‘crack den chic’ interior design for over two weeks.
Twenties are a confusing time. On one hand you tick a bunch of boxes: educated, employed, can use the oven without Mum or Dad’s help. But on the other you have a bunch of responsibilities but no maturity, barely any rational thought or capacity to think ahead. What a dangerous combination.
My fellow 20-somethings, here are some ways to identify if adulthood still eludes you:
1. You frequently encounter smells in and around your house so pungent your eyes water, but can’t identify the source
2. You play chicken with your housemates when it comes to chores, whoever cracks first cleans (and loses)
3. You don’t buy toilet paper until all the tissues and paper towel in your house are gone (you may even steal napkins from restaurants)
4. You have no idea if you have roadside assistance, or perhaps even car insurance
5. You still use your student ID at the movies, artfully covering the expiry date with your thumb when you show the cashier
6. You have considered stapling or sticky-taping a dropped hem on your only proper work skirt/trousers
7. Free morning tea at a meeting is the best thing to happen all week, or month
8. You kept the box your fridge came in for months with the hopes of building an amazing fort (that never happened)
9. In one night you break multiple responsible drinking rules you set for yourself, like not mixing alcohol and drinking a glass of water between each drink
10. Going out the night before work/a family function/early flight still seems like a perfectly reasonable idea.
Are you an adult? How do you know? When did it happen?