Years from now, I think will look back on my mid-twenties as being simultaneously the most capable and inept period of my life.
Some days I feel grown up; I’ve paid a bill on time or remembered to take out and bring in my washing on the same day. You know, just generally winning at life. Other days I’m bracing for the moment a vital amenity gets shut off because the bill has been misplaced. Or I can’t empty the kitchen bin because it was bent out of shape during an improv drumming session at the last party. Or we have to sit under blinding light in the dining room because the light fitting was smashed during a game of ‘throw the celery’.
Last Tuesday I went to work, did the food shopping, did a Spin class at the gym followed by Body Balance, came home, ate dinner, did a load of washing AND baked a cake.
All the while my bedroom looked like squatters had taken over:
It actually looked like thieves had trashed the place. My bed had come apart at the foot and required simple reassembly with glue. But rather than get onto the task promptly, I dragged my mattress to the floor and dabbled with ‘crack den chic’ interior design for over two weeks.
Twenties are a confusing time. On one hand you tick a bunch of boxes: educated, employed, can use the oven without Mum or Dad’s help. But on the other you have a bunch of responsibilities but no maturity, barely any rational thought or capacity to think ahead. What a dangerous combination.
My fellow 20-somethings, here are some ways to identify if adulthood still eludes you:
1. You frequently encounter smells in and around your house so pungent your eyes water, but can’t identify the source
2. You play chicken with your housemates when it comes to chores, whoever cracks first cleans (and loses)
3. You don’t buy toilet paper until all the tissues and paper towel in your house are gone (you may even steal napkins from restaurants)
4. You have no idea if you have roadside assistance, or perhaps even car insurance
5. You still use your student ID at the movies, artfully covering the expiry date with your thumb when you show the cashier
6. You have considered stapling or sticky-taping a dropped hem on your only proper work skirt/trousers
7. Free morning tea at a meeting is the best thing to happen all week, or month
8. You kept the box your fridge came in for months with the hopes of building an amazing fort (that never happened)
9. In one night you break multiple responsible drinking rules you set for yourself, like not mixing alcohol and drinking a glass of water between each drink
10. Going out the night before work/a family function/early flight still seems like a perfectly reasonable idea.
Are you an adult? How do you know? When did it happen?