Yesterday I had to go to the Medicare (NHS for you Brits) office to update my address. Why this can’t be done online is beyond me. I was dreading it because usually visits to public service offices involve a lot of waiting. To their credit I was in and out in 20 minutes, which has to be a record…
1. Well this is going to be more painful than stepping on a piece of Lego.
2. There appears to be a lady with an iPad allocating people into lines, she will determine my fate, shine favourably upon on me blonde lady.
3. I’M NUMBER ONE IN THE MEDICARE LINE. Everyone else is here for Centrelink. HA! NUMBER ONE.
4. These are very green chairs.
5. I’m suddenly craving a granny smith apple…
6. Ooooh look there’s a TV! Some kind of Australian period drama…
7. With Noni Hazelhurst! Didn’t she and Bourke from Bourke’s Backyard used to have a thing? Saucy minx.
8. I’m bored. It’s only been 5 minutes.
9. OMG the other woman waiting just spoke to me. She just broke the cardinal rule of waiting rooms.
10. Don’t make eye contact.
11. The Centrelink line appears to be moving faster, WTF?!
12. I really shouldn’t have eaten so many Clinkers today.
13. My tongue feels funny.
14. I wonder if I can whisper the entire alphabet in one breath?
16. This granny smith chair is actually quite comfortable.
17. Where does one purchase such hideous furniture?
18. Remember when beanbags were a thing! HA.
19. I think my housemate has I beanbag… Note to self: don’t put this on the blog.
20. I should definitely take a selfie, a waiting room is a pretty high risk selfie environment.
21. Waiting does not look good on me.
22. I wonder if all these people will lose their jobs under the new federal budget?
23. Maybe they will just hire a troll to stand at the door and yell “NO MONEY FOR YOU!” HA! How witty I am.
24. MY NAME JUST GOT CALLED.
25. I’m being served by a lady named Kerry, her top is green like the chairs.
26. It also matches a file on the desk labelled ‘Kerry: TO DO’, it’s a pretty thin file. Kerry is on top of shiz.
27. It seems I’ve had two cheques sent to an old address, yet again winning at adulthood.
28. Kerry is typing. She has a box of tissues on her desk with ‘Kerry’ written on the side, no doubt daring her coworkers to steal them.
29. Should I eat lunch if I’m not hungry? Probably.
30. Kerry just finished typing, I’M DONE!
Have you read this yet? 30 thoughts I had during this morning’s coffee run