1. Coffee coffee coffee coffee coffee.
2. Ima just take a sneakie selfie… no one will see.
3. Oh god did those dudes in the car behind me just see?
4. There is no car behind me! HA!
5. Sweet mother of a dingo’s baby I look tired… Oh man I’m so tired.
6. Since when is my face so asymmetrical?
7. Ugggghhhh this is boring.
8. Oh looks like Jordan is in front of me, I wonder what he’s doing?
9. Probably buying coffee DUHHHHH!
10. Do kids still say duh? Or der? Or some other kind of sarcastic noise?
11. It is SO not cold enough for this vest.
12. I wish it was cold enough for this vest.
13. ‘Seeeeee my VEST! See my VEST! Made from real gorilla chest‘ *snort*
14. Mr Burns is misunderstood.
15. Am I going to be late for the morning meeting?
16. Crap. My phone is only on 1%.
17. Maybe I should learn Spanish?
18. Is ‘hola’ pronounced ‘hola’ or ‘ola’?
19. I think I liked Ashton Kutcher more when he was with Demi.
20. Did I brush my teeth this morning….? Bin juice breath…
21. I wonder if only eating gelati would make me lose weight?
22. My turn to order! THANK GOD. Or you know, whoever.
23. I really hope they have those tiny cookies today.
24. Better take another selfie.
25. Dem crazy eyez.
26. I’m definitely four minutes late.
27. I wonder if human taxidermy is a thing?
28. What day is it?
29. Maybe I should just eat a jar of olives for dinner.
30. TIME FOR WORK.
Hi, at the risk of sounding like a complete creeper (though I do it so well, I may as well just own it)…I just found your blog through Mamamia and I just wanted to say you are FABULOUS and I’m pretty sure we have the same brain. Only you’re probably less of a creeper! But your writing is wonderful!
Oh Kate. You couldn’t be more wrong, I am a creeper of the highest order. Over a year ago when I found out the name of my colleague-to-be I googled her and got well acquainted with her image before she moved to town and I told her we were going to be housemates. A year and three months later we still are (housemates that is). I encourage you to own your creepiness and perhaps we can start a support/lobby group together? Thank you for your kind compliments and for reading, you sound similarly fabulous. I hope you have a great weekend x
Oh gosh we are the same!!! I admitted to a date this week that I had actually Facebook stalked him (we’re not Facebook friends yet, otherwise that would be a no-brainer) and unsurprisingly I haven’t heard from him since, despite the fact the date was otherwise fairly outstanding. Accordingly, I think I do need to join some kind of support group…
Hope you have a wonderful weekend, and thanks for indulging a fellow creeper! x
Really? I usually tell all my dates I’ve stalked them! Mostly because I’m proud of my uber internet stalking skillz, it comes in handy at work all the time haha. I often just say something like ‘hey, so about those super lax security settings on your facebook…’ and shoot them my best crazy eyes (not unlike the ones above). Maybe they think I’m joking? Also, if I was to change careers and do recruitment IMAGINE the dirt I could dig up. Something to put on the resume for sure.
If you don’t hear from him he is clearly an ass-hat. Keep me up to date! x
Hahahaha this made me laugh out loud so many times. And I’m still laughing at number 13. Definitely something I would start to sing ahhaa. Fab
Old school Simpsons can’t be beaten! I remember See My Vest was on a CD my sister had, I listened to it on repeat and still know all the words haha.
That’s fantastic hahah. Not sure I could quote the whole song, but I’d sure get close 😛
Well, as a primary school teacher I can clear up number 10 for you. Kids no longer say ‘duh’ or ‘der’ (though I can’t seem to kick the habit). Now they tend to just make some kind of cutting and disparaging remark or raise their eyebrows. It was a simpler time when we all just said ‘Derrrrrr!’
Love this post by the way. You are in a folder called My Fave Blogs on my iPhone home screen 🙂
Wow, kids these days seem fabulously evil! Haha would love to hear some of your hilarious classroom tales. Thank you Kaz, that is so lovely! I’m so glad you commented at the end of last year so now I can read your blog too 🙂
Oh I really need to give my blog more love and attention!
SO MUCH YES.
This makes perfect sense.
i know my above comment makes, really, not a lot of sense. but its 4.22pm and i have somehow made it through the work day without coffee. i also have done nothing. there is still emails in the inbox from 8.10am, i suspect, that i have been vacatly gazing out the window. glazy eyed and staring at a rock on the driveway for the last 8 hours. also dem craz y eyes, i have to keep scrolling up so i can relive this creep face over and over. im smirking too. just so you know. i see your creep face, and raise you mine. *raises eyebrows*
I don’t know why, but I have absolutely no doubt that you have a most excellent creep face Adrienne! Haha. Why did you decide to have a no coffee work day?! Madness!
And with this post (specifically number 13) I think I am in love. Can we be BFF’s?
Liz! Absolutely! Tell me everything; fold or scrunch? Salty or sweet? Dogs or cats? Potato or… potato?
Scrunch! (Ain’t nobody got time for folding) sweet! Always sweet! Dogs! (Cats are evil; I maintain their lack of opposable thumbs if the only thing preventing them from becoming our overlords) and potato, the second one!
I feel this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.
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