I’ve always been a ridiculously enthusiastic proponent of ‘mind over matter’. But, having never once done anything practical to strengthen my ‘positive mind power’, it seems rather implausible that I should wake one day being able to heal myself with positive affirmations. This doesn’t deter me.

Like the day I decided I could meditate my way out of a hangover… It didn’t work. It seems all that vomiting really messes with channeling one’s inner chi. Then there is my ongoing project to become ambidextrous, via the belief that I can simply assign the same confidence I have in my right hand, to my left hand. Cue spilled milk everywhere.

Anyway, on Friday I could feel the tightness in my throat signalling an impending cold. ‘Mind over matter… Mind over matter… Mind over matter’. I chanted internally like a Hare Chrishna chanting through a shopping mall. Nothing was going to stop me from enjoying an awesome weekend because I BELIEVED I could. Didn’t I deserve an amazing weekend?! OF COURSE I DID. With the power of my mind (and perhaps some alcohol, for its disinfectant qualities) I would go shopping and out for breakfast, lunch, dinner and to the races! And my cold would retreat faster than Miley Cyrus’ dignity and future prospects at the VMAs last year.

Shopping? Sure!

Socialising? Why not?!

Well. I have once again been foiled by overconfidence in my mind’s abilities. The Secret? I haven’t unlocked it. Cold: 1. Bec: 0.

I woke on Monday morning barely able to move. I called my housemate and colleague Bec at work “Hi Bec,” I croaked and spluttered like an ogre with tonsillitis. Silence. “It’s me”. Silence. “It’s Bec!” I managed before collapsing in a coughing fit. My cold had left me not only incapacitated but audibly unrecognisable. Fantastic.

I have no idea whether I would have been just as sick if I had spent the weekend resting in bed, it is possible that I might have been. And I didn’t actually feel as bad on the weekend as I did on Monday.

Still. No more double-ended-candle-burning for me. No more mind-over-mattering basic biology. For the rest of the winter I’m going to act like a responsible adult, which includes not attempting to swim in the icy depths at Esperance this weekend…

Wish me luck! Remedies for the common cold…? Share below!