A couple of months ago, a friend of mine was showing me her Tinder matches. Hunched over her phone, we poured over the photos, attempting to gauge the height of her potential suitors by comparing them to nearby landmarks and other people in the photo. She didn’t want to agree to a date, only to show up and see someone shorter in stature. Not long after that, over drinks with a group of ladies the conversation turned to online dating and the height thing came up again “I would never date a guy shorter than me!” came the responses.
I understand where some women get their height obsession from. The heteronormative world view has long told us men should be tall and strong and women should be dainty and take up as little space as possible. As a tall woman, I’ve definitely had moments of feeling ungainly. But literally, only moments! I often forget I tower over some of my friends, realising only if we happen to be stood next to each other in front of a reflective surface. “Wow! You only come up to my shoulder!” style.
I’ve never minded being taller than a romantic partner. It’s just not really a thing for me. Andy and I are exactly the same height, so when I wear heels I’m always taller. It makes me feel statuesque.
When I was a teenager my dad’s girlfriend at the time made some random comment about supermodels always being taller than their boyfriends. “You think a man with Elle Macpherson on his arm would mind being shorter?!” she remarked. I have done zero research in the field of supermodels and their height relative to their romantic partner’s (female, male or otherwise). But this always stuck with me; that tallness in women is glamorous. Sure she meant in the context of being attractive to men which is fraught with other issues but I’m sticking to the take home message of not stressing over height. It’s impossible to make yourself shorter without some fairly hideous slouching, which is frankly unacceptable. Shoulders back, heads high ladies.
Would you date someone shorter than you?