How to fake a holiday

The right Instagram filter can mitigate all the hassle of international travel. Here’s how:

1. Head to a local hotel and ask (or pay) to sit by their pool.

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2. Take a good book.

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Preferably one that’s ‘having a moment’

3. And a good friend.

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Aka the ‘witness’

4. Order a jug of cider

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Conventional drinking hours and practices don’t apply on holidays.

5. And the club sandwich.

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Because they appear almost exclusively on room service menus and not in real life.

6. Eat it in your bikini.

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Because you don’t care how gluttonous it looks #holidaymode

7. Try to soak up some rays.

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Tan or burn; any colour that will make it look like you’ve actually been away.

8. Upload a ‘hotdogs or legs?’ photo to social media.

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Sadly, my knees will always be to pointy to look like hotdogs

Then sit back and admire the completely fake jet-set lifestyle you’ve created for yourself. Or you could save up money and annual leave, book flights, accommodation, wrangle visas, international currency and travel insurance and actually go on holidays…

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4 Responses to How to fake a holiday

  1. Jess Carey says:

    Hahahahaha you made my day already and it’s only 9am!!! FANTASTIC!!!!

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