How to fake a holiday

The right Instagram filter can mitigate all the hassle of international travel. Here’s how:

1. Head to a local hotel and ask (or pay) to sit by their pool.


2. Take a good book.


Preferably one that’s ‘having a moment’

3. And a good friend.


Aka the ‘witness’

4. Order a jug of cider


Conventional drinking hours and practices don’t apply on holidays.

5. And the club sandwich.


Because they appear almost exclusively on room service menus and not in real life.

6. Eat it in your bikini.


Because you don’t care how gluttonous it looks #holidaymode

7. Try to soak up some rays.


Tan or burn; any colour that will make it look like you’ve actually been away.

8. Upload a ‘hotdogs or legs?’ photo to social media.


Sadly, my knees will always be to pointy to look like hotdogs

Then sit back and admire the completely fake jet-set lifestyle you’ve created for yourself. Or you could save up money and annual leave, book flights, accommodation, wrangle visas, international currency and travel insurance and actually go on holidays…

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4 Responses to How to fake a holiday

  1. Jess Carey says:

    Hahahahaha you made my day already and it’s only 9am!!! FANTASTIC!!!!

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