Coming from the southern hemisphere, I have a vastly romanticised idea of many snow/Christmas related activities. So I was completely crushed last year when I discovered that sledding (or tobogganing) sucks. My friends and I took a ski lift up a large hill in Austria and proceeded to ‘sled’ downwards without any steering or stopping instructions. The bruises were horrendous. The next day I felt like I had been hit by a truck. Never again.
2 Watching Masterchef
I’ve written about Masterchef before. I feel like I gave Masterchef a good chance to wow me. But I find it both boring and stressful, which I didn’t realise was possible.
3 Watching Dirty Dancing (the movie)
I think maybe this movie falls into the ‘before my time’ category (after all it was made in 1987) and by the time I was old enough to watch it I had already seen To Wong Foo Thanks For Everything, Julie Newmar in which Patrick Swazye plays a drag queen. Nothing ruins a teen heart throb like ill-matching foundation with a five o’clock shadow.
4 Playing Pool
I always assumed I would be good at playing pool, but as it turns out I’m really not. Unfortunately, no one ever believes me and makes me join them in a game which is both long and humiliating.
Ahead of a trip to Las Vegas last year I had visions of sitting chicly at a black jack table with a martini. I don’t know how to play black jack. Sitting at a slot machine isn’t very chic. And I’d much rather spend my money on food, or clothes.
6 Top Shop
Poorly made, overpriced and largely ugly, we’re not missing out at all.
7 Eating Boozey desserts
I like alcohol. I like desserts. But together they taste like mushy alcoholic old man breath.
8 Bikram Yoga
I’m not sure why I thought doing yoga in a heated room would tickle my fancy. It’s sweaty and uncomfortable and the reason people claim “You feel so great afterwards!” is because you get to stop.
9 Eat, Pray, Love
The part set in Italy is alright, who doesn’t like reading about consistent eating? The rest of it is self-indulgent garbage.
I’ve tried twice to watch the first movie. Snoozeville. The same goes for any vampire-related television series.