Now that I’m 25 (and judging from the photo above, feeling pretty smug about it), I feel like I’m
almost at the age where I can start dishing out unsolicited advice to pretty much everyone. Because who doesn’t love a know-it-all? No one!
1. Honesty is always the best policy Always. Obviously lying is bad, but not saying anything at all can land you in just as much trouble.
2. Everyone procrastinates Just try to spend less time on Buzzfeed.
3. Natural is best I spent many years trying to be simultaneously blonde and as tanned as an extra from Jersey Shore, whilst wearing acrylic nails. While I’m certainly not a poster girl for going completely au natural, I’ve learnt that being as natural as possible is more beautiful and far easier in the long run.
4. Harem pants are never a good idea
5. Sarcasm is toxic to all relationships Once you hear yourself saying to a friend “Don’t you just love our new look lounge room? I call it ‘Jimmy-hasn’t-cleaned-up-in-the-two-weeks-since-his-chess-club-hosted-a-Game-of-Thrones-marathon-despite-my-constant-reminders-and-threats-to-hide-the-remote-control” it’s all over. Over.
6. Work out, but don’t talk about it on facebook No one cares. Really.
7. Disasters make the best stories I hated the time I was on a date with a guy who managed to be both racist and homophobic in the same breath, but boy it’s hilarious now. as is the fact I had to run away from him at the gym just the other day…
8. Travel is important If you’ve never slept on the floor of a foreign train station because you traipsed to the far outskirts of Budapest for a rave party that never existed and missed the last train back, you haven’t lived.
9. Say what you want If you want to go out for lunch say “I want to go out for lunch” rather than secretly hoping your boyfriend or girlfriend will suggest it, before getting hideously pissed off when they don’t. People aren’t mind readers.
10. It’s OK to say no
11. Kebabs are an inevitable part of life Embrace them. Especially after 2am.
12. Boredom only happens to boring people Or to interesting people on long haul flights.
13. FOMO (fear of missing out) happens That night you chose to stay in rather than going out, you know the one that turned out to be The Best Night Ever and finished with everyone reenacting the opening sequence to Friends by jumping into a fountain and singing I’ll Be There For You? It’s happened to everyone. Don’t dwell.
14. Breaking other people’s hearts is just as bad as having yours broken Also, do the breaking up as soon as you’ve checked out of the relationship.
15. Just order the damn pancakes And don’t turn into one of those women who will only order dessert if her friend does. Boring.
16. Don’t ever hold grudges They are toxic and won’t make you happy.
17. You will lose the most expensive sunglasses you’ve ever purchased The pair you got randomly at a roadhouse in Norseman on the other hand, will live on forever.
18. Always smile with your teeth pursed lip smiles look dumb (see above photo)
19.You don’t need that new dress, pair of shoes, cake pop maker Especially not the cake pop maker. Appliances that only do one thing are the devils work.
20. We control our own emotions It is unacceptable to consistently make others miserable with your moods. Grow up.
21. Burning the candle at both ends will make you sick just like your Mum said it would. But do it anyway, it’s often worth it.
22. You should just buy the boring things you need Like petrol, shampoo, and insurance. It’s more annoying when you run out/aren’t covered.
23. Don’t rely on anyone else for money
24. Do what makes you happy!
25. Be careful who you take advice from 😉
Obviously, I don’t always follow my own advice. But if I did, it would look much like this list. Got any to add? Learnt any massive lessons lately?